2: DISSOCIATION

2

The void is never normal. It’s not like it’s scary, it’s actually soothing and accepting, but you don’t feel normal there. Mama’s words echo in my mind, “calm down, breathe, internalize, and look at things logically”. The room glows purple, black, and purple again, as I see my body underneath me, standing and holding my hands together, breathing getting slower while I keep rising higher. I’m already out of my body, but I still have control over it… sorta. I have to prove my dissociation capacity, I can be a Retainer, I can yield a Vessel…

The three look up at me, not my body, with the demon leaning to the burly one, whispering comments I can’t hear. The burly man then pulls a bag from under his seat, shifts inside it for a while, before pulling a pill box. He pops one, swallows it with no water, and instantly, almost comically, falls flat on the table. His body stays there, while he rises into the void, coming close to me. Is this… is this combat? I've shaken up some moths for money a few times, but this is a trained Retainer, a-and… what if he pulls out the Vessel? This got so serious out of the blue…

Fuck, he’s close, I can see the manifestation. Basically the same, but even more burly looking, dressed in a robe that covers the bottom half, very contrasting to the normie suit his human self wore and his skin is off-colored. He punches his fist and smiles at me, this is real… this is real… He swings at me, I fall on top of my arm, but dodge it out, and he doesn’t stop the chase, stepping in my direction as I dodge with a roll, panting and already struggling to stay Retained. I try to get up and maintain my space, but as soon as I push my body up, I feel restrained, something holding my arm in place on the floor.

He laughs and exclaims: “Hahah! Good instinct. Survival is not the first priority of most people dissociating.”

“W-well, you’re not the first person to disturb me during it.”- I retort, trying to keep my cool, while I try pulling my arm away from the ground. It’s like its weight has multiplied tenfold, or that I lost the capacity of moving it? I don’t get the time to think it out, as the burly one clears his throat and sits down casually, floating close to me as I try my absolute best to take my arm away from the inexistent ground of the void. He talks all cool, like he isn’t about to stomp my head or something: “Pretty cool eh? I got me own Vessel years ago. It’s well suited to the type of work I used to do, being mostly just chases and arrests. But I guess you can go and meet Narcissus.” - As he says this, a foggy, darkened shade of a beautiful boy slowly rises from behind him, hugging his face in a passionate way. The shadowy Vessel extends from the floor, all the way to my arm, as I notice how it also is covered by the foggy material. ”Its target will always be the most hurt region of your body, and replicate the moment the pain peaks. How’s that arm feeling? Must have taken all of your body weight in that fall.”

I can confirm, it hasn't just lost its movement. It’s also stuck at the condition where it was hurting the most. All my weight was on top of my arm… I feel the weight, I feel my body touching the top of my arm even if it isn’t there anymore. It’s like tactile hallucinations but… it actually holds me.

This train of thought isn’t particularly fast, and before I notice, he’s already standing, literally stretching his back. Is this a mockery..? There is absolutely NO WAY I’m passing like this. Hurry the fuck up Keya.

It comes to me, even if for a moment. My free hand slams my face, hitting the hard, bottom part of the palm against my nose, and at the same time of my very loud “FUCK” I stand, panting, but up.

He seems to be happy, but still is up in his guard. Holy shit my nose hurts. I can feel my palm, perpetually pushing my nose to a position that shouldn’t be constant, even if when I touch it, I confirm it’s back in place. It’s barely possible to pull any air with it, and it hurts like a motherfucker, so I’m already breathing through my mouth, but at least I get to move again.

“Gotta say, this is a bit anticlimactic. Is this as far as your ability goes?.”- Holy shit it’s hard to talk. Every time the slightest amount of air is exhaled by my nastrals, it burns like my nose is shattered completely. Must keep cool… Gotta keep cool.

He steps up slowly approaching, I try to get in a fighting stance. Think about those moths, I have some fighting experience, this is doable.

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